-Home-

I never thought i could do it, but i actually did. How much does she actually mean to me, i wonder at times? Will she be my home? Things are so uncertain, so vague and yet with her, only now matters and it feels right. I can't deny that times of silence exists between us. Despite that, i see her face and in her eyes, may it be deception or not, i feel comfortable. I sense connection. I know with her i can spill my thoughts endlessly, and not matter how boring they might be, she'll listen. If i were thrown into despair and senselessness, her support rises like the morning sun. In the night when the winter chill drives down my spine and i lay awake wishing she was with me, her light tells me she's with me. Is she my evenstar?

- Happy Graduation and Happy Birthday

- Sorry i had to take this idea off a movie but i'm only doing this once in my life.

- Wishing you were here is the hardest part of my day.

- The moment we met was the minute i made up my mind

- When you're around all the decisions i made had nothing to do with me planning. Only when i'm so far away do i realise the moments like the ones we shared was when i was actually living

- You know my ego and how i run away from things

- The limited time we had was when i learnt from you how i'd face my fears. You gave me the courage to do so.

- If not for you, if not for the times, i wouldn't have ever known what it felt like to like a person again, the past haunts me, being next to you takes it all away.

- So for everything,

- Thank YOU!!!

- for being my aspiration, for showing me what loving is all about, for teaching me how i should be as someone who's loved and for having faith in my dreams and how i can be a better person.

- Once more Happy Birthday and Happy Graduation!

- I'm coming home
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A production of MONs_t3R INC.

Proudly associated with The Fookchow Family Co.
Fookchow New Zealand,
132 Frederick St.,
City Centre,
Dunedin.
===================================================================

I was thinking...

I was thinking of why I never patched things up
All the years of distance
Where my life could’ve been full instead of an empty cup
When I thought, touched, felt, suffered and lived would’ve been of substance

I was thinking why I made all those years
Seem bitter and ignorant
Then I knew I was being arrogant
There should’ve been a lot of laughter instead of tears

I was thinking how life would turn out
If we’d been friends all this while
And I saw myself having endless conversations, each ending with your smile
But I’m glad for all that happened for now I see you and I, sprout

I was thinking if I’d been your companion
Ever since the younger days of innocence
How then would things be in our relation?
Then I see you, your smile, your perseverance

I was thinking why someone like yourself
Would find falling in love an obstacle
But if you’d looked clearly you’ll see there’s someone who’d prove himself
And I’m sure if you allowed him to lead a journey with you, you’ll reach your pinnacle

I was thinking of saying those three words
That’ll give hope and instate faith in a person’s heart
I was thinking of telling you that I’ll miss you
How you managed to provide me with inspiration
I was thinking how wonderful you’d be as an aspiration
But at the end of the day the choice comes to you
Whether you decide on making me a passion or telling me to part
So I tried telling myself those three words
I saw I could do many things
For your presence, life it brings

I don’t want my reverie to be broken by a waking
For the all the awe, all the dreams would only be me thinking
Now and then, I tell myself, I was only thinking…

* a dedication made 2 days before i departed for Dunedin. A poem written in the nocturnal night, in the corner of my heart. Consequences, i'll face. I'm just too tired of running away. If it must be all i give then be it.
Hesitate and this heart shall feel no more.

Love Cake

THE RECIPE FOR LOVE CAKE


Ingredients:
2 Luscious lips
2 Well shaped legs
2 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
2 Nuts
1 Fur Lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana

Directions:
1. Taste the luscious lips

2. Spread well shaped legs with loving arms

3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur lined mixing bowl is well greased, check regularly with finger.

4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. (For best results, continue to knead milk containers).

5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not over night)

6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn't soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Note:
1. If in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.

2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.

3. If cake rises, leave town!

Mother's Day 2005

From the very start
She said she'll never part
Though I cause her tears
Through all these years
She raised me to her very best
Without complaining, without rest
Shining forever is her light
Guiding me through my darkest nights
She tells me His love is eternal
She is proof of His love eternal.

1983

I gaze into the night sky
Shooting stars are seen to fly
I go back to when I was a champion
Where everything I did was a passion
I used to be the person who never wants to part
I thought all I needed was my heart

The days are slowly weakened
The nights are suddenly saddened
I'm thrown into a cave of sorrow
I look to see if there's a tomorrow
All through the years
All of the tears
The closeness I once had
Is it everything to be paid?
I hear the waves come crashing
I know you're out there shining
I'm still fighting this war

The aching from the past
Your presence makes all this the last
They're still possesions I don't want to let go
And you're an obsession that seems to grow
When I look at the sea
Thinking how I used to be
Then I see the calmness of the horizon
Then I wonder how your hands will be
I want a life with you
Where all the pain
Where all the broken dreams
Are swept away by the warmth you give
Are brought away by the embrace everlong
It's not about the most amazing
It's not always about the missing

We will fight
And then disagree
I will stand tall
And I will not fall
For the last flight
To look in your eyes
Hold you one moment longer
Making us that much stronger
I don't want to hear the cries
I don't want us to have good byes

And when I'm old and grey
And I'll think about our days
The moments when I felt homesick
And I was begging the Lord for mercy
To remove all the hate of this world
To take away this loneliness I feel
To forgive me of all my crimes
To help me remember your kisses
To endear each night so cold
To cherish the happiness you gave
To have all my faults perished
To hear the beat of your heart
To never forget the family we share
To the b*****g times we had
To the purest of times together
To hear you calling my name
To know your hope and faith
Is with me every step I take
You're the cure no one can make
For the hug you gave that morning in May
Is like a bud from the oak every Spring's Day
It matters not who our firsts might be
For it was you and me who set us free

Thoug people feel my independence
I'm still in need of your perseverance
I don't know why or when to move
I don't want to wake from this reverie
Cause there's always vile in reality
Cause I want to have your love

And in our private moments
And in our silhoutte together
We'll leave the shattered
We'll depart the stoned
Meeting you is serendipity
Having a life with you is certainty
So when you walk down the aisle one day
I'm going to be the man standing right there
It seems all so dear to me now
The colours you bring so beautiful
Through the ups and downs
Through dusk till dawn
When I wake I know you're next to me
In His kingdom, I pray I rest
In His mercy, my soul I rest
For all the pain the knife brought through
Was healed by being next to you
Our kids will learn to love their home
For you're the heart and my home

So when I lay my head to rest
Just after some hits of grass
In my dreams you'll come alive
In my dreams I'll see our glory
So before reality sets in
And when there's always this grin
I want you to know that you're forever cute
I want you to know you look good in white
I want you to know the charms you caused to me
I want you to know the dog i gave is me
I want to be your dearest
I want you to be my purest
So when I leave this world one day
I can say I love you more than 24 a day

- Our love will live through generations -

Remembrance of this whole week I was stoned, knowing deep in my heart, the only thing that mattered was her and getting to know her. How it'll go, i don't know...time tells a lot.